Wanted: Senior Respect & Courtesy – A Return to Sensible Formality

Have you noticed how we are becoming quite comfortable in calling other people by their first name – no matter their age, their heritage, or whether we know them or not? We seem to wish to err on the side of being casual and comfortable rather than show any sign of formality. Others who were brought up to show respect and courtesy to our elders see them grinch when it happens, but often they either don’t have the courage or are embarrassed to speak up. Most people today quickly assume a first name basis with people they hardly know and more children call adults by their first name.

Put yourself in a senior’s place – most of their lives they have been addressed as Mrs/Miss/Mr. by strangers and even acquaintances.

• Over the last 10 to 15 years all of a sudden Mr. Smith (75) became simply Bill – without Mr. Smith’s permission.
• Miss Hanson now has become – just Mary. No one ever inquires if that’s ok with her.

There is something wrong with this picture!

The receptionist at the doctor’s office doesn’t know Mary Hanson (83) from Molly Gibbs, but feels entitled to drop her last name, the way you would for a kindergartner and just calls out M-a-r-y! How condescending is that?

Bill Smith stops at a car dealership to look for a new pick-up truck. He introduces himself to the sales person as Bill Smith and immediately the come-back is: “Bill we just got the deal for you”. Again, he doesn’t know Bill from Adam. That sales person just down-sized Bill. The prospective buyer has become just another “Bill”, who hopefully can be talked into that purchase.

Just picture it – in the doctor’s office: “Ms Hansen or Mary Hanson we are ready for you”. If the sales person had to call his customer Mr. Smith – the language used would make Bill Smith the “valued customer” not just another guy looking to buy a new car.

We all know the old saying: “familiarity breeds contempt”. We get what we ask for.